Today's waffle - chronic fatigue, et al

I was in my late 20s when it first hit. I was very fit, swimming 20 laps in summer or running around the lake in winter plus squash a couple times per week, windsurfing in summer and skiing in winter.

I was unable to stay awake by around 3pm and would need to take a sleep for an hour or so to be able to finish the day. I cut down on my activity without any benefit or change in the need for an afternoon sleep. I was sent to all kinds of doctors and did all sorts of tests with no indication of why.

I managed this way for some time, lucky to have great work mates. Eventually I gave up all sport occupying my time now with playing bridge. This consumed my life for many years. I don't think it was good for my health with the constant high adrenalin. It is very addictive.

My health gave out again with weight falling off in kilos and no amount of food or good living making a difference. Tai chi, organic food, good working conditions, good friends and still the weight continued to disappear. My blood pressure was dreadfully low and eventually I had to stop driving. I was able to work from home for about a year, working when I could. I continued to deteriorate. I was pensioned off and packed my car to head north to Queensland.

There was a big deal about doing this as I had two life long (their life) long fur friends who were both around ten years old. Leaving them was a big challenge. I found a lady who was responsible and gave her a great deal to care for my girls and my budgie. [I returned to one cat! but eventually found little Mau Mau after three weeks - another story].

I moved into a share unit on the Gold Coast. Possibly one of the worse moves I have made but is an indication of how bad my health was. Just before I left I was able to visit Feng Wei (Tai Chi master) who now had English enough to practice TCM. The medicine he gave me and the move to warmer weather made the difference. I slowly started putting on weight. There were a lot of other impacts that came with CFS. I slept around 15 hours a day. This makes having a life quite difficult. I could not commit to anything. Walking anywhere was out of the question; a movie I would fall asleep. Another part of CFS is a sensitivity to noise; loud noise is very exhausting.

So life with chronic fatigue. It is hard. The impact it has on your career is hard but the impact on daily life is the harder thing to deal with. We have this gorgeous home and wonderful garden. I love gardening but I don't have the energy to get anything really going. I will be good for awhile then the weather will change or I will overdo it one day and that is me stuffed for weeks. Then the struggle just to try to maintain what I have achieved so far.

Maintaining a relationship with my love should be easy; we are not that old. This too is a challenge. Wanting to contribute to the Community but not being able. I volunteered at the Nimbin Neighbourhood and Information Centre (NNIC) but after a couple of weeks just could not continue; only one day a week! The daily cooking of a meal is overwhelming at times. Keeping our home clean, ensuring Peter has his medications all take their toll and leave me exhausted daily.

Now, some Summer would have helped as I have little to no ability to deal with cold but I am used to wearing a heap more clothes than everyone else. I am pretty good at moderating my energy output but sometimes there is a demand which is out of my control. Tomorrow I go to visit my darling Mother who is coming to the end of this life. We cannot cope with being away from home so this means a big day and will take some weeks to get over. It is worth it though to see her and be able to give her gentle hugs.

Love you my Mummy.

Hopefully CFS will not keep me from regular ramblings.