I will get used to this gig of writing. I love writing but have never done much online. A blog here and there that I never kept up, now defunct.
I think of myself as lucky. Certainly I have had some very tough times, very harsh treatment but I have never had to cope with a partner or child dying. I have lost my father, grandfather and two close friends to alcohol. The tough times have given me good lesson for living and growing. Forgiveness and compassion gave me back a meaningful life. I have never had a life threatening illness nor am I disabled. I am grateful.
No doubt this will be a bit jumbled for awhile until I get out all I want to say ...
I live in a glorious part of Australia on a bit of land. Life is good, growing some of our own food and being able to buy most of the rest at a local farmers market. Good clean food, water and air. Good friends and a wonderful Community. We still feel the pains that were moulded into our soul before arriving here in this healing, caring community. The difference is that people are not 'judged' for being different, having bad days and more.
So back to my life. Early childhood was good then it changed. I really don't know why but have thoughts on why. I escaped the tyranny of home and arrived in Nimbin prior to the first Aquarius Festival in 1973. I have great memories of fun, creativity, music and general good will. Eventhough I left due to illness and got caught not returning until 2003 I kept the memories and the dreams alive inside me.
Trials and tribulations from trying to be someone I wasn't obviously led to an unhappy life. I looked for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. Finally, after 30 years floundering in the dark my spirit was depleted; I was unable to work; pensioned off; I headed north to a warmer climate. This helped, combined with Traditional Chinese Medicine and Tai Chi. I had been getting help learning how to be an adult by a wonderful Counsellor who was also a massage therapist. Wonderful combination of lesson while being massaged. The Tai Chi Academy was the real life saver. The serenity of a class and combined meditation refuelled my spirit. It also gave me access to life changing workshops run by Lama Choedak Rinpoche. How to deal with anger, a major issue; learning compassion and forgiveness. I cannot thank these people enough for nourishing my spirit.
The transition wasn't instant, still hanging onto that which was wrong for me. Eventually I have come back home to Nimbin about the same time I arrived 30 years earlier. Full circle back to where I was meant to be. I feel at peace, accepted for who I am - warts and all.
Along this journey I was rewarded with finding the love of my life; my soul mate. He was so hurt, three ended marriages, three lost children. Full of mistrust and pain and anger. The first years were hard coping with the jealousy, the mistrust but we have grown together and could not imagine being apart now, 12 years later.
I will progress through my days, referencing incidents in my life as I go. A picture of our driveway leading to our little paradise
No comments:
Post a Comment